Since starting this blog I’ve had so many messages and comments from people who have been through the horrendous experience of losing their mum. I’ve also had messages from others who have lost dads, husbands, sisters and brothers … and sadly from parents who have lost children…And as all of you who follow this blog will know one of the reasons I started to write this blog was to provide a place for anyone who was going through this horrendous experience (otherwise know as grief ) to feel understood. A place where grief was not so much normalised but empathised.
Slightly surprisingly though I’ve had a lot of messages from people who still have their mums, messages expressing the absolute fear and dread of losing their mum. I can completely relate to this fear.. I had this fear and dread for as long as I care to remember. I distinctly remember so many Sunday afternoons after Sunday dinner when everyone was so full after eating far too much ( mums Sunday dinners were amazing.. I always ate far too much and ended up not able to move for at least 2 hours) needless to say everyone who had eaten the feast ended up asleep!! I used to watch mum breathing.. worried that she would stop!! I worried that some day her heart would stop beating.. mums father had died of a massive heart attack when he was relatively young and I was convinced mum would some day drop dead. I also worried that mum would have some sort of accident ( I’ll not go through them all.. there were so many possible accidents I worried about mum having ) this got so much worse after dad died.. all the potential scenarios.. my mind would be exhausted worrying about her!!!
And my point is .. ( or more importantly what I’ve have learnt is… a valuable lesson)
Worry is pointless.. it achieves nothing.. all my worrying was in vain .. mum died of cancer ( what’s the chances of losing both parents to cancer?? )not a heart attack or some sort of accident.. cancer!!!
All the worrying in the world could not have prevented that..
Instead of enjoying and soaking up all the precious time I had with mum I exhausted myself, drained my energy worrying unnecessarily about things that were never going to happen.. I mean yes mum did die but so do we all!! None of us are here forever!!
I’ve said it in a previous blog.. none of us are getting out of here alive..
Worry will not change the outcome of any situation.. in fact worrying will only inhibit your ability to deal with the situation..
So please ( especially all you lucky ducks that still have your mums) WORRY NOT!!!! put your energies into loving and enjoying every single moment you have right now.. with the loved ones you have right now…