“”YOUSE AREN’T HALF GRATEFUL””
Mum used to say this to my siblings and I A LOT. I normally rolled my eyes and thought to myself .. here we go again.. I never really understood what she meant.. I learnt the hard way …funnily enough “you’ll learn the hard way” was another one of mums frequent sayings..
After mums death when the grief was at times almost unbearable being “grateful” for anything seemed impossible. It’s only now more than 5 years on that I truly understand the meaning of being grateful.
I’m grateful that I had mum as my mother. If there was a book on how to be a mother mum would have definitely ticked all the boxes.
But I’m grateful for so much more, grief has certainly taught me that lesson.
Nowadays it’s so easy to get bogged brown with the really unimportant stuff. Social media, magazines and TV portray unrealistic people leading unrealistic lifestyles. Instagram and Facebook are polluted with posts about make up, Botox, hair styles, body image, get the perfect bum, tummy…. and the list goes on…
Sitting in the cancer centre with mum whilst she was getting her treatment looking at the other cancer patients getting their treatment each one with a wig or a head scarf or a bald head reminds me to be grateful for the hair I have. Yes I sometimes wish my hair was thicker and maybe a bit longer but really I’m so grateful for the hair I have..
Chemotherapy is a gruelling treatment. Hair loss is only 1 of the many side effects and it’s not just the hair on the scalp that is lost. The next time you make an appointment to get your eyebrows done spare a thought for the chemo patient pencilling their eyebrows on. The next time you feel your eyelashes aren’t quite long or thick enough spare a thought for the chemo patient who can suffer horrendous eye infections as they have no eyelashes at all to protect their eyes. Every morning when I put mascara on I’m grateful that I have my own eyelashes.. ( no matter how sparse they may seem).. The next time you think that your teeth aren’t as straight or as white as you’d like them to be spare a thought for the chemo patient who’s mouth and gums are so swollen, sore and full of ulcers that they can barely bring themselves to brush their teeth.
Realising that people and lifestyles portrayed on social media are simply unachievable and to put it bluntly dishonest, let’s face it the images are so filtered that some people are almost unrecognisable in real life, has made me grateful.
I’m also grateful for my children. So many women try to conceive for years and sadly never have a child. I’m lucky enough to have 3 kids and although there are times when I rant and complain I know I am blessed to have them..
Being grateful isn’t always easy, the complexities and stresses of everyday life can be exhausting. But none of us are getting out of here alive!!!! There are people sitting at their loved ones bedsides right now holding their hands and telling them how much they love them whilst their loved one is taking their last breath..There are people who got up this morning, got washed, dressed and went about their daily routine who aren’t going back home tonight… They won’t even be afforded the luxury of getting to say a final farewell to their nearest and dearest…..
There are others who have received devastating news and have been advised to go home and get their affairs in order.. an uncertain future awaits..
The future is uncertain for us all.. let’s all be grateful for what we have while we have it..