This week marked 13 years since my lovely dad died. A gentleman in the true sense of the word. Dad was gentle, kind and a fantastic father.. I could write all day about how remarkable he was and although this blog centers mainly around losing mum, Dads death also had a major impact on my life…
The difference of course was that mum was there being her usual strong and supportive self when dad died and just as she did her upmost to help and guide me through my grief I was constantly trying to help her through her dark days. I suppose we were a distraction for each other…Mum busied herself with family, friends and various organisations that she was a member of. Looking back now I remember her constantly being busy… never letting the grief actually control her. Yes, mum cried many tears ( we all did) but she didn’t wallow in self pity… Yes her and I had conversations about it “not being fair” that Dad was dead…he didn’t smoke, rarely drank, ate a healthy diet, he was physically fit… ( again the list goes on about just how great Dad was) But cancer is an indiscriminate killer and it doesn’t matter about any of the characteristics or traits Dad had he wasn’t able to survive and sadly lost his battle ( which may I add he fought with determination) with cancer.
Mums bravery after Dads death was amazing and I draw strength from the courage she displayed. I miss them both so much but have learnt so much from them and try my best to live by the standards they constantly instilled in me. Admittedly I fall short of these standards all the time but they are big boots to fill and I’m getting better as time passes on.
I do get comfort from the knowledge that they are together and can see them smiling at each other now.. I feel so lucky and so blessed that I had them as my parents…
