Since losing mum I’ve though a lot about our relationship.. The good times and the not so good!!
After the death of a loved one it’s common place to contemplate, evaluate, criticise and deconstruct every memory you have of them. I desperately try to recall conversations I had with mum and regrettably arguments we had especially in my teenage years. Words that were said in the heat of the moment that I desperately regret. With all this in mind it led to ask myself the question……
Can your mum be your ‘BFF’ ???????
As I’ve previously mentioned during my teens mum and I argued constantly.. I couldn’t wait to leave home and at 18 off I went to Uni ( away from home) and didn’t move back to Northern Ireland for another 8 years. By this time I’d done A LOT of growing up and realised that mum wasn’t the controlling, life ruining person that I had thought she was. It only took me 26 years!!! mum was the most loving, caring , considerate and forgiving person I was ever going to have in my life. As I got older I appreciated her advise and was so glad she was there when I had my daughter. Our relationship flourished into the most wonderful friendship and I respected her so so much.. Unfortunately I was not to have this blossoming friendship for much longer and as most of you know mum died when my daughter was only 4..
I wouldn’t for one second even compare mum to my best friends ( I’m lucky enough to have a few best friends and I mean that from the bottom of my heart..) I’ve got 4 girls in my life, one in particular that I’ve known since I was 4!! And not one of them has let me down and mum loved them all too.. they were gutted when mum died … but they are my friends.. the ones I share secrets with.. I mean who would tell there mum the intimate funny stuff?? Not me !! but the girls and I have had many a belly laugh over the boyfriend ( and now the husband) escapades!!! And in my younger days when I was lying to mum about where I was and who I was with my best friends were doing exactly the same thing!!!
I remember so well ( me and one of the 4) sitting in biology in first year.. in those days that was the first and only time any sort of sex education was on the school curriculum. We turned to each other and said “no way our mum and dad would never do that” !!! lol !!!
I’m laughing writing this…
All of my blogs are written from my experiences and humble opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree.. but in conclusion to my question ‘can your mum be your best friend?’ I’m saying NO..
My mum was so much more than that.. the relationship I had with her was unique..
Mum was my best MUMFRIEND…❤️